AHH

So i have midterms next week. What a joy my life is. Im trying to look at the bright side i am, because my mom decided to put me in a new school after christmas, because she doesnt think my old friends are a good influence or somthing like that. i know that that isnt true, but that it is really just that they were my friends before i died.

Oh yeah and i think this guy likes me, at my new school you know? but then again i dotn think he knows i am DB, i mean i havent actually met another one like me at this new school. but i hope that that is just becuase it is a big school.
so i hope it works out , or that he doesnt freak when he realizes that i am DB.

So the teachers didnt get the memo that i was DB and my mom didnt tell my principle, nobody knows. she said she wants to keep it a secret because she doesnt want them to treat me differently. but i think she is just afraid, scared of who ive become, you would think that after, its been what two years or somthing? that hse would get over it. i dunno i just wish somtimes they would understand what i am going through.

but on a happier note...
im glad i got a laptop for christmas, it makes connecting wiht others much easier and i can practice my typing skills, and what not....

today

So i went to the mall today with a trad friend. We met these two cute guys, and they bought us lunch. it made me feel good that they didnt notice i was dead. but then i had to say no that i didnt eat. my mistake i should of jsut said i wasnt hungry.

crap. i scared them away.

oh well im goign to go and pretend to dream, because i cant bear to think abou tthings right now.

Today

Hey Im Coleen Mason and im a zombie. I know its actually supposed to be differently biotic or whatever but what can i say zombie is shorter.

i died trying to kill myself, and i say trying becasue obviously i came back, just as somthing different.

so i dont know what the public wants from us, i dont even know if ill get readers.

right now i go to school and hang with the few trads that can stand me. go home and get on teh computer and wait untill i make dinner for my family, who havent abandoned me but treat me differently, artificial, like i was made in a lab or somthing. My mom remarried you see and she has two new other children of her own, who arent DB and probably never will be.

but right now i cant concentrate bringing up these memories are to painful, even now. i just havent had another DB person to talk to about my expiriance, sure i have tried very hard to still act like a trad , so noone would know the difference, but somtimes i can tell, the look at me with hatred.

i used to be captain of teh softball team, i was catcher. but now?